Blaming Everyone But Your Dumb Ass? We’re Calling It Out.
Customers and SMBs: Your victim complex is expired. Time to own your shit.
Customers Who Think ‘The Company’ Owes Them a Diaper Change
- “Guy who trashed a store online because he lost his receipt.”
- “Lady who screamed ‘false advertising’ when she didn’t read the fine print.”
- “Dude who returned a shredded couch and blamed the delivery guy.”
Business Owners Too Cheap for Brains
- “Shop that ignored SEO advice, now whining Google hates them.”
- “Café owner who ‘didn’t need marketing’—spoiler: it’s a ghost town.”
- “Startup that fired their consultant but kept the ‘vibes-based’ plan.”
THE GAUNTLET: STOP SUCKING, START WINNING
READ THE DAMN TERMS
Quit crying ‘scam’ when you didn’t even glance at the fine print. Take 5 seconds to not be an idiot.
SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE
Experts aren’t your enemy—you’re just too stubborn to listen. Stop tanking your own business.
OWN YOUR MISTAKES
Blaming everyone else is why you’re a mess. Step up or shut up—it’s that simple.
WE CAN FIX YOU
If you’ve got the guts, we’ve got the plan. No hand-holding, just results.
WALL OF SHAME
Meet Lauren, who demanded a refund on her $500 custom logo because ‘it didn’t go viral’—sweetie, you paid for a design, not a miracle.
Say hi to Mike’s Auto Shop, bleeding cash because ‘I don’t have time for experts’—small business loans exist, genius. It takes money to make money.
FIX YOUR SHIT—NOW
For customers: Learn to adult. For SMBs: Learn to listen. We’ve got the fix—if you’ve got the guts.
Meet Alex Turner and Brian Wilson, the bumbling poster boys of Evergreen Association—two clowns so consistently wrong they’d lose a coin toss to a brick. From whining about a $$ $ contract breach fee they totally earned to demanding WordPress access like they’re tech gods, these idiots can’t get a single thing right. Communication? A barrage of 14 pointless calls in 11 days and endless repeat questions—wrong every time. Payments? $$$ months of dodging bills they swore to pay. Security? Texting logins like it’s a group chat and sneaking risky plugins past clear warnings. Top it off with a bullshit 1-star internal review full of lies, and you’ve got Evergreen: a disaster so pathetic it’s almost performance art.
Current’s support? A month-long delay for a “no,” six clueless agents—John D. to Bernadeth—playing telephone, and endless “send your info” loops. Inconsistent excuses, zero escalation, one referral bonus issue turned dumpster fire. Bravo, Current.
At first glance, People 4 People looks promising. Then you click around and realize it’s a bureaucratic black hole. Navigation is a mess, every page is stuffed with corporate fluff, and the onboarding process? A three-day endurance test of meetings, forms, and forced enthusiasm.
It’s less "community" and more multilevel admin hell, where you’re expected to be a recruiter, presenter, and spreadsheet warrior all at once. By the end, you’re not building connections—you’re just trying to escape.
Let’s cut the crap: if your business is a dumpster fire, it’s probably because you’re screwing up the basics. Not some fancy MBA-level strategy—just the bare-minimum shit that keeps things from imploding. If you’re guilty of any of these sins, you’re either too lazy, too cheap, or too dumb to deserve a seat at the table. Here’s the brutal truth about why your operation’s a joke—and why you need to fix it yesterday.
Sarah’s the customer I worked with for years—late nights, custom fixes, even discounts—only for her to lose it over a renewal she agreed to, acting like I’d scammed her. After all I did, she threw loyalty out the window and whined like a toddler over her renewal fee. This isn’t just entitlement; it’s a betrayal, and Sarah’s about to learn what gratitude should look like.
Yelp’s a digital mob boss—pay for ads, or watch your good reviews vanish while trolls tank your rep with fake 1-stars. Small businesses get screwed the hardest, stuck in a pay-to-play hell where Yelp profits and you bleed. This isn’t a review site; it’s an extortion racket, and your business deserves better than their shady algorithm.
FOR THE FED-UP. SCREW THE REST.
Built for the delusional and the stubborn. Fix it or flop. Tell us your sob story—we’ll laugh, then help.